Gotta’ Have Heart

"Deer flies are vicious painful biters that are relentless in their pursuit of blood to the point of a meal or death". --Unknown

I’ll give it to the deer flies: they sure have heart.

This observation came to me as my wife and I ran down the trail along the river for a summer evening run. Well, actually it would be more like a creek, but they call it a river trail. Mosquitoes have been sort of bad this early summer, but we hadn’t run into the biting deer flies yet in any great number on the runs. With mosquitoes, as long as you keep moving it is generally hard for them to take up a grip on the skin and bore their vicious hole into your skin. Deer flies are a completely different matter.

This relative peace all changed as we ran through a new section of trail, just being developed, that cuts through a small section of woods. The deer fly hordes denizen was breeched by us in this route, at this time of day, and the little ba@*!#ds commenced their attack. Now I luckily had on my new breathable hat which effectively covers up the bald spot opening at the top of my head that is the preferred target of the deer fly. Warm, sweaty areas that are moving tend to draw them “like flies.” You could be running naked I swear and they only would want to lodge in and around the hair on your head. When I don’t have a hat on the deer flies bounce and bounce repeatedly on my head causing me to begin to slip into insanity. Tap. Tap. Tap. Swat-miss. Tap. You get the picture. Diving in, attaching to flesh and proceeding to use their razor edged mouth to drain your blood into their eager mouths. And bug spray, I think it is like ketchup and mustard to deer flies, just a topping to the blood they are sucking from the wounds they inflict.

Well, back to this tale. We came out of the woods and were enthusiastically joined at this point by several flying companions, whose soul purpose was to eat…US! But for some reason they were much more interested in my wife’s lovely, long brown hair so prettily flying about her as she ran. I think they may have been attracted to the bright yellow shirt she was sporting, a top that before the run I had commented on what a nice color combination it was combined with the blue shorts. Think maize and blue, University of Michigan. Go Wolverines! Little did I suspect it might be the team colors for those nasty insects.

I took off my hat and began swatting the circling demons from around my darlings head. I swear when I hit them with the crushing blows it either just made them madder or they were split in two and doubled the intensity of their attack. As I was doing this, I noticed that they had no interest in my head at all. Then I suggested maybe if she ran fast she could shake ‘em, which was a dangerous suggestion this late in a run with fatigue a factor. God knows what would have come on us if we for some reason tired and had to slow to a walk. I pictured two corpses found along the trail by strangers passing by, corpses drained of blood through hundreds of seeping wounds. But she tried the sprint move and I only think it got the flies blood competitively flowing.

So I offered my hat to the wife. After much cajoling for her to “just take it,” she did. This seemed to ease her discomfort caused by the flies and they still were ignoring me mostly. Eventually, the farther we found ourselves from their lair, the attacks subsided and we were able to peacefully finish the run, ironically among the living in a cemetery.

Here is a remedy for deer flies that just might work:
http://www.flypatch.com

Here is a great blog on the deer fly:
http://naturejournals.blogspot.com/search?q=Deer+Fly

From Wikipedia:
Deer flies (also known as yellow flies) are flies in the genus Chrysops of the family Tabanidae that can be pests to cattle, horses, and humans. A distinguishing characteristic of a deer fly is patterned gold or green eyes.
Deer flies are a genus that belongs to the family commonly called horse-flies (Tabanidae). They are smaller than wasps, and they have colored eyes and dark bands across their wings. While female deer flies feed on blood, males instead collect pollen. When feeding, females use knife-like mandibles and maxillae to make a cross-shaped incision and then lap up the blood. Their bite can be extremely painful, and allergic reaction from the saliva of the fly can result in further discomfort and health concerns. Pain and itch are the most common symptoms, but more significant allergic reactions can develop.
They are often found in damp environments, such as wetlands or forests. They lay clusters of shiny black eggs on the leaves of small plants by water. The aquatic larvae feed on small insects and pupate in the mud at the edge of the water. Adults are potential vectors of tularemia, anthrax and loa loa filariasis.