Tiger By The Tail

I've Got A Tiger By The Tail, it's plain to see;
I won't be much when you get thru' with me.
Well, I'm a losing weight and a turnin' mighty pale.
Looks like I've Got A Tiger By The Tail. -- Lyrics from Buck Owens I’ve Got A Tiger By The Tail

How many times have we had a tiger by the tail? This metaphor could sum up most days for me. There seems to be these little things that if you let go of them long enough they are going to turn right around and shred you.

Some of those tigers you have to really grip on to and some you forget you are even grasping a tail at the time. Only do you get reminded you are holding them when you let go and are surprised to be staring something dangerous in the eye. Can’t probably out run it. To strong to win a hand to hand fight with. Your arsenal of weapons are too small caliber to take it down--even with a well placed shot.

On the other hand, some of those tigers that you have by their tail don’t want to turn around and devour you. Some of them would make like the wind and breeze away if they could. Meaning if you would let them go. Release the tail, release the tiger, release the pain, release the doubt, release the fear, release the memories. For anyone that ever has water-skied, it is the same feeling as when you release the rope when you come to the end of the circling behind the boat. As long as you hold on you are under the control of the rope, the boat pulling it, the “tiger.” Release yourself and you skim the surface ever slowing until you come to a stop and sink into the water. Or crash into something or catch your ski and do a face first header into a not very soft surface that water can be at times.

So try to determine the type of tiger you have a hold of. They could be a combination of the two types as well. I have had a few that when I let them go they turned around and kicked the s#@t out of me and then left for parts unknown. I bandaged myself up and kept on going.

What is my alternative?

Here are the rest of the lyrics to this great song by the recently departed Buck Owens. Here is a You Tube link to a performance of his. Enjoy.

I've Got A Tiger By The Tail, it's plain to see;
I won't be much when you get thru' with me.
Well, I'm a losing weight and a turnin' mighty pale.
Looks like I've Got A Tiger By The Tail.

Well, I thought the day I met you, you were meek as a lamb;
Just the kind to fit my dreams and plans.
But now, the pace we're livin' takes the wind from my sails
And it looks like I've Got A Tiger By The Tail.

I've Got A Tiger By The Tail, it's plain to see;
I won't be much when you get thru' with me.
Well,I'm a losing weight and a turnin' mighty pale.
Looks like I've Got A Tiger By The Tail.

Well, ev'ry night you drag me where the bright lights are found;
There ain't no way to slow you down
I'm as 'bout as helpless as a leaf in a gale;
And it looks like I've Got A Tiger By The Tail.

I've Got A Tiger By The Tail, it's plain to see;
I won't be much when you get thru' with me.
Well,I'm a losing weight and a turnin' mighty pale.
Looks like I've Got A Tiger By The Tail.

Opposites

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. -- Elie Wiesel

I am troubled by the word "indifference." As in Wiesel's above quote, he blames it for almost everything that could happen that is bad. In the world. In our beliefs. In our way of living. How many times a day do we casually say "I don't care" about things we are asked? Or "I don't know" as an answer to an inquiry about something. That is indifference to the importance of the person asking the question, requesting dialogue. It is a discarding of that moment, instead of capitalizing on an opportunity to love.

I think it was Wiesel that said something about how while he was interred in Buchenwald as a Jew during WWII, that he quit believing in the Jewish God. That was his awakening, how to believe in a God and also believe in such a place as the Nazi death camps. Both existing at the same intersection of historical time. His own self, his eternal soul, present at this place and time. He perceived the God of his faith as indifferent. I have thought the same thing at different times in my life. When my son's close friend was killed on a motorcycle at the age of twenty. How could such a painful sentence be handed down to his parents. How could "love" and "God" fit in to the scheme of that incredible grief that surrounded that moment?

So agree with Wiesel, indifference is our enemy. We cannot allow indifference to claim another endangered species, another abused child or a planet that will offer an unhealthy environment for the next generation. Our indifference cannot condemn the future.

I want there to always be tigers, clean air and a God.
 

Former Buchenwald prisoners - Elie Wiesel's face is visible on the second row, fourth from the left, by the vertical wooden beam.

This May Take a While...If I Have That Much Time

"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'." -- Charlie Brown.

This happens to be a fate that I often bring upon myself...this recounting of what went wrong.  Sometimes it is what I said wrong. I am often not a smooth communicator and stumble badly over what I mean to say, getting more and more frustrated as I blabber along. Digging a hole. Not quite deep enough to hide in but plenty deep enough to still have my head sticking out to be taken off. Sort of like that game where you bash the groundhog over the head if he sticks it out of the hole. Or the shoot-the-duck game at a carnival. Me being the unlikely or unlucky duck flying by in the hail of lead shot.

A lot of times it is just a simple matter of getting in over my head. Thinking that I can handle it. Forgetting that I have no experience of a particular skill or job. Something I find myself doing often...staring from my back up at something I have no idea about under a car or truck. Trying to figure out some way to say something meaningful about an asked question where I don't feel like a clown or an imbecile with the answer. Many people can spout off anything and they are believed, they have the gift of communication right on the tips of their tongue. I feel jealous sometimes. Then they will eventually, in many cases, appear truly as an empty vessel, devout of real understanding and knowledge.

I now critically look at every thing that I hear or see. It is painful at times. I want to believe but my illusions have been so slowly shattered over time to not allow belief. I have forgotten and discarded what I once took as faith. Trashed it. Now it is overtaken by worry and stress and concern about how to dissect it for the truth. I want to so very bad believe, as a child does, but without a mind full of snake oil. Victim of a Flim-Flam Man.
Am I worried about being wrong or being found out that I am wrong by others? A fraud? My own version of a Snake-Oil Salesman? After all, don't I offer and ask often times in this Blog for you to think about deep, wondrous, troubling things? Or am I just troubling others with my angst?

The cartoon of Charlie Brown, Lucy and the football come to my mind. If I was going to kick the football and you were holding it, would justice be served if you pulled it away as I kicked it? You, being my worries. I know I have felt that urge to yank it and watch others stumble if only at times to assist Karma with a little action. It feels so deliciously wrong to think that way, yet it persists.

Destined to lie on my back and look up at the mistakes. The ones I made and the ones that are to come. *Sigh!*

The List

Marcus Tullius Cicero said that there were "Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century.”
1. Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others
2. Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected
3. Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it
4. Refusing to set aside trivial preferences
5. Neglecting development and refinement of the mind
6. Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do

These points were written down more than 2000 years ago and still are out there tripping us up in our lives. Not only are they mankind as a whole’s mistakes, they trip us up as individuals throughout our lives. Some of these six pratfalls are more prominent singular events in our lives; some happen more often, repeated; and some are rare occurrences.

When I first discovered this list I tried to write a page under each mistake and try to identify the weakness of character that each showed me about myself. It was painful and liberating at the same time. It showed me my personal growth through the years and pointed out where I seemed to always be repeating the cycle of regrettable behavior. When I was done, the list was a harsh condemnation. I tore it up and tried to forget it. But the list had been made and now seems to pop up at “convenient” times, and has actually become a simple guide to the steps that I need to take.

My wife has a vision board above her desk. It speaks to her personal dreams, hopes and desires about where she sees her life in the future and shows her the paths that need to be taken to reach her “Nirvana.” I should probably be worried that there are no pictures of me on the board, but I can see her vision. In the pictures and quotes there are many shared aspects of things we like to do together, so I know she sees us that way. Together. Remembrance of my list is a way that I can find my vision of where I am moving forward. By continuing to just move forward and not falling into old, lazy behavior.

I would like to see everyone try this accounting of their mistakes, and see if it can contribute to wellbeing of mind as I experienced it. Look at your regrets. Examine your strengths. It will be a way to avoid #5 of the list; and please don’t think I am trying to compel #6 on you.

"It is a great thing to know your vices." — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Footnote: Marcus Tullius Cicero (January 3, 106 BC – December 7, 43 BC) was a Roman philosopher, statesman, lawyer, political theorist, and Roman constitutionalist. He came from a wealthy municipal family of the equestrian order, and is widely considered one of Rome's greatest orators and prose stylists. He became an enemy of the state at the end of his life, and Cicero's last words after being captured are said to have been, "There is nothing proper about what you are doing, soldier, but do try to kill me properly." He bowed to his captors, leaning his head out of the litter in a gladiatorial gesture to ease the task. By thus baring his neck and throat to the soldiers, he was indicating that he wouldn't resist. According to Plutarch, he was slain, then they cut off his head. On Antony's instructions his hands, which had penned the many great words of his philosophy, were cut off as well and were nailed and displayed along with his head in the Roman Forum.