Tuesday, December 12, 2017

I remember...

"On my cornice linger the ripe black grapes ungathered;
Children fill the groves with the echoes of their glee,
Gathering tawny chestnuts, and shouting when beside them
Drops the heavy fruit of the tall black-walnut tree." 
--William C. Bryant
I had to ride my bike down the road past his house to get to my friends house. It was the only route available. Four years older than me, he had salt and pepper hair before he even graduated high school. I suspected he would wait for me to ride by, and then throw the walnuts that fell from the tree in his front yard. At me on my bike. Black walnuts when they were still heavy and green. The longer those walnuts aged upon the ground, their outer husk starting to decompose, the more they stained and smelled when they painfully hit you. Exploding black and green and slimy. Sometimes his friends joined him in this pastime. He and his friends subsequently called me "walnut man" due to this exercise

I now have a walnut tree in my front yard, and I still can smell that sting of those walnuts all these years away when I pick them from the grass beneath the tree. 

He is a jail administrator in a northern Michigan county now, according to my mom.

"He was a nice boy", she told me over the phone.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Teach Our Children Well



"What's done to children, they will do to society." -- Karl A. Menninger
There seems to be an awful lot of attention these days to what can only be categorized as awful things that adults do to children. In Hollywood, in the legal system, in our public schools, or just about anywhere adults have the opportunity to interact privately with children, we are beginning to hear about the abuse and intimidation and betrayal that are occurring. These places and situations where our young people are being harmed are starting to be dragged from the darkness into the bright light of the truth, a truth that is very, very disturbing. More and more the despicable people that prey on children are losing their safe havens, and as Goethe said, "The coward only threatens when he is safe."  

I suggest offering them no amount of safety.

The sad realization to me however, is that we seem to be failing our children. We need to instill a sense of a higher expectation of love in our households, in our schools, and in our communities, while at the same time helping our young people to expect and demand that from other people. Society should be demanding that adults behave like adults, the kind of adults who love children. This has to be an important priority.

I have the tendency to believe that most people are good, and that leads me to trust more than I probably should. It is more likely that most of us are good, and harming children or any person is not what we are about. But by believing this, have I somehow been careless with providing tools to help children understand how they should be treated? Have I placed those in my care at risk?

I don't know. And that is my shame. 

Friday, October 27, 2017

A Letter from the "State"

"If taxation without consent is robbery, the United States government has never had, has not now, and is never likely to have, a single honest dollar in its treasury. If taxation without consent is not robbery, then any band of robbers have only to declare themselves a government, and all their robberies are legalized." -- Lysander Spooner
Have you ever truly had a piece of postal mail ruin a perfectly nice trip from your mailbox? 
Here is my story of just such a ruined journey.

Once upon a time (as all good stories should start), my wonderful Mother-In-Law recently gave my wife and I a car. Gifted. Doué. Free. Gratis.

So I dutifully checked the box on the title indicating that it was a gift from a family member and transferred the title, registered the vehicle and called it good.

Nope. Nada.

Here comes the mailbox part of the story.

I received a letter from the State of Michigan, henceforth to be referred to as the "State", requesting documentation to support my claim of being related to my Mother-In-Law in order to take advantage of the tax free status of being gifted a vehicle. A rather threatening dispatch from the State with deadlines stating when to respond, penalties that would be levied, interest charges that I would incur and other overt hazards I would face if I just ignored this letter. It seems that this was an important and urgent matter that the State required me to explore. In depth. With official supporting documents. All bold faced and italicized within the letter. 
Enter rage.

It truly ruined a perfectly nice trip to my mailbox.

As I had previously checked the box on the Application for Title regarding this, with the stated penalty for falsifying this stated clearly, and I quote: “Any alteration, erasure, false statement, forgery or fraud voids this title and is a crime”, I was left scratching my head for the duplicity this letter was requiring of me to do. I take seriously the process of placing my signature on documents. Especially after such threats worth repeating here like “Any alteration, erasure, false statement, forgery or fraud voids this title and is a crime” are part of the “contract” between me and the State. After all, I was only asking for the clearly stated particular tax exempt transfer benefit that I was entitled to.
But my signature was not enough this time. My honor was not to be believed or trusted. Especially if it meant that the State would be missing out on grabbing any of my hard-earned tax dollars that it felt that it might be owed.

In fact, on review of the “Letter of Inquiry Concerning Michigan Taxes,” it supports the fact that:
  • The State does not trust me.
  • The State has people, namely a Mr. “Brian,” whose sole purpose is working to extort possible additional tax dollars, working in a job funded by tax dollars, in a office building paid for by citizen's flesh and blood efforts, all of which seem to be being wasted on me in this instance.
  • The State wastes postage to mail out letters to honest law-abiding citizens such as myself to extort said tax dollars.
  • The State wastes resources in its effort to extort tax dollars in the form of purchasing envelopes, printing a letter, inserting it in that envelope and managing a database to question its citizen’s integrity and truthfulness.
  • The State requires me to further use my personal resources such as time to search and find required documentation, dollars to reproduce documentation, postage to return said documentation and the personal aggravation of the whole process. This required my Senior Citizen Parent-In-Laws to go to a safety deposit box, procure and copy their marriage license, and finally mail it to me so I could place it alongside my wife’s birth certificate and our marriage license (which required me to go out and get copies made) to confirm the connection.
This “Letter of Inquiry Concerning Michigan Taxes,” more of a “Letter of Demand” in my view, required me to ask my senior citizen Parent-In-Laws to drive to a safety deposit box, procure and copy their marriage license, place it back into the safety deposit box and mail it to me. I could then place this documentation alongside my wife’s birth certificate and our marriage license (which required me to go out and get copies made) to confirm the family connection. And finally, mail it, at my cost for postage, back to the State.

All of which I did, being a good rule-following, boot-licker that I can sometimes be. To my own shame I should add.

Yet, I somehow feel as if the State of Michigan ought to be invoiced from me for the wasted time and resources that it took for me and my loved ones to respond to this “time suck.”

And also, TAXATION IS THEFT.

Note: I will henceforth carefully consider requests by my government for increased funding through tax dollars. I will lodge my final decision on these matters in the voting booth.

Monday, October 2, 2017

The Cat in the Hat: The New, Shiny, Triggering Object

“No I do not like it, not one little bit.” – The fish from Dr. Seuss’s children book, The Cat in the Hat
Sometimes a cat in a hat is just a cat in a hat.

Yes, I understand that this might not fit into everyone’s little narrative statement, but it is true. I am troubled by the hypersensitivity that is causing people to over-analyze, over-react and even become anxious and depressed over perceived discriminatory objects. Or by being scared, worried or upset over what someone else might be going to do, like the children's red fish from the "The Cat in the Hat" story.

Are we capable of stopping ourselves from doing this? I believe we are. I always try to remind myself that I cannot control what other people say or do. That’s right, I don’t have that superpower. Nor do I want it, or want others to have it. That is one of the great tenets of the United States Constitution under the 1st Amendment’s protection of freedom of speech. You just can’t enforce laws that work at “prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech”.

This post would be an example. I guarantee that there are people out there that will read this, disagree with this, and get all butt-hurt by this post. That’s fine with me. If you want to give your power to be happy to me, the writer of this post, or to some other idiot waving a flag you don’t like, or your child reading a book you find offensive or watching someone else eating something not “produced” the way you believe to be proper, go for it.

But there might be another way to help so you don’t forfeit your mental health in your quest to make everyone agree with your opinion and viewpoint.

Try to limit your interactions with those things that make your heart race with excited agitation, your skin break out in an anxious sweat and your body start to tremble with disgust. Do what you do when you hear a song on the radio you might not like, a Milli Vanilli song for an example from my taste in music: turn the radio dial to the off position, choose another radio station or temporarily turn down the volume.

Now I want to assure you that this is in no way an effort to be naïve about critical social issues, it is just a way to build emotional and cognitive buffers so you do not suffer from the ignorance and insensitivity of some people. 

And then and only then, it might be easier to believe that a cat in a hat is just that.

Monday, August 21, 2017

The Power of Stillness


“Sometimes it is better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.” – Unknown
I escaped to the river for a few short hours on a sunny afternoon. Took my kayak and my fishing gear to a spot I could briefly paddle upstream to and try to attempt to catch a few fish. But when I look back at the experience now, it wasn’t about fishing at all. It was the silence of fishing that I was seeking.

Everything around me of late has seemed so challenging. Some of the challenges are quite correctly of my own making, as I tend to take the world a bit seriously these days. My seriousness tends to boil inside of me as silence, seeking all the time to try to act on, or say something, that is better than the silence. I remember telling myself once that a wise, peaceful and compassionate person needs to be found alone at times, saying nothing, listening to no other human voices. Silent. Quiet. Still. No words in books, no music from the radio, no actors or anchors on the TV, no endless knowledge of the internet, no people talking.

So what I came away from the river with was lungs filled with moist river air, that was fragrant with late summer flowers. I came away with gently rippling sounds inside my head of the water flowing over rocks, tumbling over wind-fallen trees and the splashing of the paddles urging me upriver. I came away with eyes filled with turtles sunning on the floating logs, sparkling fish, cedar waxwings dancing through the branches, an osprey hunting above me and green shades of late summer as far up and down the river as I could see.

Surrounded as I was with the quiet of nature, I barely knew what was transforming inside me. The quieter I became, distanced from the civilized world’s noise, the more I began to hear.

What I heard, but did not recognize till later was that I may not be perfect, the world is certainly imperfect, but watch us both improve. As time passes, I realize how much I have improved as a person. I look at the long recorded history of the world, one that is filled with great discoveries and great tragedies, but it has improved.

So what did I really go out to do that sunny summer afternoon? I went to find hope, and to continue when appropriate, to remain silent when those around me expect me to be enraged.


Tuesday, August 15, 2017

What If No One Came to See It?

"Sometime they’ll give a war and nobody will come."-- Carl Sandburg
Racists. White supremacists. Anti fa. Communists. Black separatists. Anti-Muslim. Socialists. Neo-Nazis. Republicans. Democrats. Black Panthers. Black Lives Matter. KKK. LGBTQ (Add more letters as applicable).

Imagine if you had a group of white supremacists and neo-nazis or any other group standing around a statue of a figure from the southern side of the American Civil War. Imagine they are chanting hate-speech or other offensive things to the area surrounding this statue. Imagine they are dressed in attire that reflects their stance, brandishing signs with offensive slogans and are waving flags of a racist and offensive matter.

Are you mad yet? Then their tactics worked. And the human species suffered because of it.

Time for a brief disclaimer: I am for free speech. I will defend your right to it. Offensive speech generally turns me off from that speakers perspective. As Evelyn Beatrice Hall said (though this is often attributed to Voltaire): I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Why engage these people at all? Why not ignore them? Do we need to know that when a tree falls in the forest it makes a noise, or if bears shit in the woods? Or if someone is spouting hate speech that there is anyone to hear it? What these groups do when they are engaged is turn their opposition into the aggressor, when they are the ones that are usually the lovers of peace.

Did the likes of Gandhi, the Dali Llama and Martin Luther King not teach people anything?

So many questions.

I would offer this to ponder about. Suppose you consider that before man existed, conflict waited. The ultimate practice of conflict awaiting man, the ultimate practitioner of conflict. Now apply it to current events of violent nature that all to frequently abound in the world.

Then throw in a televised news feed and some talking heads to fuel the fire.

Recipe for Charlottesville.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Walpole's Way, or the Highway


"In my youth I thought of writing a satire on mankind; but now in my age I think I should write an apology for them." - Horace Walpole
So, even way back in the 18th century people were so distressed by what they saw happening in the world around them they secretively (or openly as well) felt bad for the planet and its inhabitants. Or more specifically, the way that their perceived perception of how the world should operate was being hijacked and destroyed. Walpole was concerned about the political factions of the Whigs and the Tories as they struggled for power in England. He specifically was worried that the Tories were increasing in power over the infighting Whigs, which in his opinion would deliver an unlimited and absolute monarchy to the British Isles.
Sound familiar. 

Substitute Republicans for Tories and Democrats for Whigs.


Or when the previous administration was in power, substitute Republicans for Whigs and Democrats for Tories.

Hard to follow? I will agree with that and that is the main reason I refuse to follow anymore.

It is really about labels and perspectives, not to mention the times that we are living in. And labeling is so, so tiring and time consuming and frustrating and pointless.


And it also seems to be a bit selfish, to be so passionate about a viewpoint that you paint opposing sides as being worthy of an apology because you share that different perspective. It feels a bit like it hits you at that point where you discard the kind regard that people could have for one another were it not for the simple fact they can be found sitting on a different side of an issue fence.

Can you think of a time where you ever changed someone's mind anyways? Generally when you are trying to do that you end up witnessing them dig into their opinions deeper and hold on to them even tighter.

I have given in to the fact that critical thinking is the path that needs to be followed, and that path will allow you to touch everyone with understanding and not try to influence perspectives.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Reflective Thinking Sets the Speed

Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there someday."-- A.A. Milne

Some days it is the most difficult task to just be reflective. I often find that the practice of reflective thinking is the most innovative way I can ask my mind to work. Without that internal discussion that takes place between my ears, I would probably, no certainly, blunder more, create more problems, or deliberately make mistakes again and again. 
Being reflective offers me the time to walk back a step or two, but still be moving overall forward in my progress in life. It allows a certain flow that leads me to creative solutions. It is a scientific method of thinking, especially when it concerns decision making.
Shifting my mind to this way of thinking, helps me to be more emotionally engaged and supportive with people and with situations. I feel much more able to support what I think, be more aware of the positions I take, and even better understand how to dismantle other opinions.
Relating new knowledge to the stored knowledge makes my thinking feel stronger, more relevant and supported. It also drives me forward to bridge the gaps between what I may know currently and what I need to know to be successful in the future.
The river of my reflective thinking keeps me emotionally supportive in all aspects of life, work and experiences.
It offers me true personal freedom.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Iran and the Applause from Celebrities

"Saying 'Death to America' is easy. We need to express 'Death to America' with action." -Hassan Rouhani, President of Iran


The Iranian regime is not populated by Nazis, but it is led by people who do, in fact, seek the physical elimination of the Jewish state and its replacement by a Muslim state. It works toward this end, by sponsoring terrorist groups that regularly kill Jews, both in Israel and elsewhere. The United States is elsewhere; so is Europe, Asian countries, Africa and wherever else Jewish people can be found.

Simply, they mean to export terror or the fear of terror.

So, as a reminder to those who argue that Jews (as well as all the other people that surround them as neighbors) should stop worrying so much about people who threaten to kill them, here is some (just some) of what Iran's leaders, and leaders of its proxy militia, Hezbollah, in Lebanon, have said about Israel:

Mohammad Khatami, the former president of Iran: “If we abide by real legal laws, we should mobilize the whole Islamic world for a sharp confrontation with the Zionist regime … if we abide by the Koran, all of us should mobilize to kill.” (2000)


Ayatollah Ali Khamenei: “It is the mission of the Islamic Republic of Iran to erase Israel from the map of the region.” (2001)


Hassan Nasrallah, a leader of Hezbollah: “If they [Jews] all gather in Israel, it will save us the trouble of going after them worldwide.” (2002)


Nasrallah: “Israel is our enemy. This is an aggressive, illegal, and illegitimate entity, which has no future in our land. Its destiny is manifested in our motto: ‘Death to Israel.’” (2005)


So when people from Iran stand up and condemn policies of our country toward them (like at award shows), try to think hard about their right to criticize our reasons for what we do when we hear the hate their nation professes for the freedoms that the United States stands for, and the safety it provides all citizens regardless of religious beliefs. Even Muslims are safe to practice their religion in peace within the U.S. borders.


Sunday, February 26, 2017

Where is the power?

"Money is the great power today. Men sell their souls for it. Women sell their bodies for it. Others worship it. The money power has grown so great that the issue of all issues is whether the corporation shall rule this country or the country shall again rule the corporations." --Joseph Pulitzer
Interestingly, when you look at it closely and don't think of money as being a bad thing, money is one of the major factors in everything. I know this probably isn't a new thought for anyone, but it is something that can be looked at through a critical lens. Try to understand the forces that are acting on lives, and how those forces are using money to drive those influencers, and those connections when they are recognized may surprise you.

Now I am no conspiracy theorist in any respect, but conspiracy theorists do use thinking skills to try to frame their beliefs to conform with the facts that they observe. They piece together a narrative to make sense of the world and what is happening around them. And making sense of this crazy, beautiful, wonderful, wild world is worth the effort.

Personally, I seem to feel as if the forces of government are constantly pressuring me to give up more of my treasures and rights so they can redistribute them to others in our country, or build bombs to drop on other countries, or fund their bureaucratic pensions and golden benefit packages. They want me to focus on what they can do for me, what they can protect me from, where it is safe to go, who it is best to associate with, who I should trust more than someone else, even what I should buy and from whom. They just don't seem to realize that I am capable of taking care of myself and trusting the people I have chosen who I would trust in my bunker (I don't have a bunker, but it is how I internally measure the people surrounding me when I ask the question are they "bunker worthy?" And I really don't have a bunker. Really.).

And now we basically have a company, a brand, running the policy of this country. A brand and all those who spout corporate-speak. The Teddy Roosevelt progressives would have been running around madly with their big stick and smashing corporate trusts. But wait...You mean the company trusts are now the government? Self-flagellation may be required.

Pulitzer was also famous for saying that "The man who has not cared for sixteen mules does not know what work and troubles are." The working man and woman of this modern age that struggles with "mules"--like terrible debt, affordable healthcare coverage, police state mentality, intolerance, discrimination, and decent work--know what trouble is. Those struggles leave you with a heart full of holes.


A day of reckoning is coming and I await it, hopefully and peacefully.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Stained Glass Personality

"People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Can you ever really know the true nature of another person? How can we understand what has shaped their being, what experiences have impacted them during their lifetime? Even when we think we know what someone is like we can be shocked to find out what really lies below the facades of human beings. 

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross expressed this quandary eloquently in the above quote, but I would expand a bit on it. It is not just the light within that is revealed, but it is the absence of a light, a darkness that may exist. That darkness is more of what I fear than any type of light. I know that there exists both light and dark inside of me and to admit to that allows me to understand it better. If someone is going to do any type of harm to someone I love, an innocent or a defenseless person, and I can prevent it, I would not hesitate to use the darkness inside me against them. That can be a mean, dark sonsofbitch.

I often wonder also if this is a social issue. We look at the celebrities and sports heroes, in their attire that "sparkle and shine" on courts, fields, runways, red carpets, movie sets and other places they are captured at by the media and paparazzi, and usually we are left with a positive impression. Our military leaders sparkle with medals on uniforms braided with gold epaulets, for campaigns that don't quite sparkle when examined closely.

The political climate these days seems strangely lit, represented rather than by casting light on issues and problems, it is focused on that underlying darkness, that shadow of all things that are back lit by the sun.

Consequently, it is making even kind and gentle people just a tad bit angry and mean, like wounded beasts. 

Perhaps it would be good advice if the gloating stopped and the waving of red flags in the face ceased and the wounded would get a little time to lick their wounds and begin to heal. They will be far better in the fight when they are healed.