Mistakes Will Be Made.

"Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life." ~Sophia Loren

I leaned over the side of the boat to wash the fish slime off my hands only to be greeted with “Kerplunk!” My Ray Bans slipped from their perch on the brim of my hat and traveled directly to the bottom of South Manistee Lake. Ohw! That hurt, on so many levels. That undersize largemouth bass I had released moments before was the last thing on my mind.

I felt sick even though I was trying to tell myself that they were just a dumb pair of sunglasses. But my relentlessly unforgiving brain kept up taunting me. “Yeah, just sunglasses. $300 sunglasses. Prescription sunglasses. Only 6 months old. How dumb can you be to place them on top of the brim of your hat to be able to get the hook out of the fish? See, you do so need the bifocals the eye doctor was pushing you to consider. And why no safety strap?”

No, that last thought was a gently echoing message that my wife and fishing partner had moments before delivered to me to consider. In fact it was her bass I had just released that got my hands slimy.

“Why didn’t you have a strap on them like mine have?” she said, “You put this one on my sunglasses for me.”

She was of course right about that. I had spent time rigging a strap for her sunglasses so that just this sort of thing would not happen to her while she was fishing or kayaking. Did I somehow think I was immune to this happening to me?

My point of all this came to me later. After the mosquito repellant dissolving part of my kayak seat later, which after seeing what OFF does to plastic I am having a troubling time thinking about ever spraying it on my skin again. That point is that I am always going to be a victim to doing dumb things. It seems to be a profound part of my nature. Thus far they have not been overly damaging but have been nonetheless annoyingly frequent. Not happening more frequently but kind of consistently constant. Something I am going to have to budget for. Part of the household budget. Mitch’s stupid blunders line item.

The List

Marcus Tullius Cicero said that there were "Six mistakes mankind keeps making century after century.”
1. Believing that personal gain is made by crushing others
2. Worrying about things that cannot be changed or corrected
3. Insisting that a thing is impossible because we cannot accomplish it
4. Refusing to set aside trivial preferences
5. Neglecting development and refinement of the mind
6. Attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do

These points were written down more than 2000 years ago and still are out there tripping us up in our lives. Not only are they mankind as a whole’s mistakes, they trip us up as individuals throughout our lives. Some of these six pratfalls are more prominent singular events in our lives; some happen more often, repeated; and some are rare occurrences.

When I first discovered this list I tried to write a page under each mistake and try to identify the weakness of character that each showed me about myself. It was painful and liberating at the same time. It showed me my personal growth through the years and pointed out where I seemed to always be repeating the cycle of regrettable behavior. When I was done, the list was a harsh condemnation. I tore it up and tried to forget it. But the list had been made and now seems to pop up at “convenient” times, and has actually become a simple guide to the steps that I need to take.

My wife has a vision board above her desk. It speaks to her personal dreams, hopes and desires about where she sees her life in the future and shows her the paths that need to be taken to reach her “Nirvana.” I should probably be worried that there are no pictures of me on the board, but I can see her vision. In the pictures and quotes there are many shared aspects of things we like to do together, so I know she sees us that way. Together. Remembrance of my list is a way that I can find my vision of where I am moving forward. By continuing to just move forward and not falling into old, lazy behavior.

I would like to see everyone try this accounting of their mistakes, and see if it can contribute to wellbeing of mind as I experienced it. Look at your regrets. Examine your strengths. It will be a way to avoid #5 of the list; and please don’t think I am trying to compel #6 on you.

"It is a great thing to know your vices." — Marcus Tullius Cicero

Footnote: Marcus Tullius Cicero (January 3, 106 BC – December 7, 43 BC) was a Roman philosopher, statesman, lawyer, political theorist, and Roman constitutionalist. He came from a wealthy municipal family of the equestrian order, and is widely considered one of Rome's greatest orators and prose stylists. He became an enemy of the state at the end of his life, and Cicero's last words after being captured are said to have been, "There is nothing proper about what you are doing, soldier, but do try to kill me properly." He bowed to his captors, leaning his head out of the litter in a gladiatorial gesture to ease the task. By thus baring his neck and throat to the soldiers, he was indicating that he wouldn't resist. According to Plutarch, he was slain, then they cut off his head. On Antony's instructions his hands, which had penned the many great words of his philosophy, were cut off as well and were nailed and displayed along with his head in the Roman Forum.