Sums

Live as if your were to die tomorrow.
Learn as if you were to live forever. -- Gandhi


Sum. The total of numbers added together. They could be our days. Sum is an exact figure.

Some. A quantity of items, things or thoughts. These could be our actions or deeds during the sum of our existance. Some can be a group of many or few, without an exact sum. A bit undefined.

The sum total of a man perhaps ends up as undefined as the word “some.” The many experiences that make our existence special and profound in its own unique way are difficult to measure. I try to look at how I would attempt to define my own use of the Earth’s resources and pound for pound can’t justify it in a material way. Not in a measurable unit at least. But in a spiritual way, it is possible that I do give back more to the planet than I devour. You may need to ask that question to those that are close to me. Hopefully, they will humor me with their thoughts.

To truly reach the sum of our lives, or the summit of our human happiness, may be a pipe dream. Truly we must always be trying a bit harder, even as the spiral is slowing as we are allowed to seek happiness with age. At the least, that seems to be my own experience. I never seem to get closer to the answers to my many questions. The numbers just don’t seem to be adding up. Would I struggle for my last breath of air? Our life here is so extraordinary, it is impossible for me to grasp being asked to leave it, let alone have it taken from me by the will of fate. I would wish to run from the final counting of my days.

I doubt if I would walk into the light, more than likely I would lightly step away. Which way would the answers in reality lie? The choice would be something to have to make.

I will have to work on my questions some more. Some day I will face this. This, a final sum.