Seasonal Nothingness

A Zen Saying

Sit quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.

Now is the time to allow for nothingness.

The sky seems to have lost some of its blue and is now a filtered, turbulent gray. Nature is gathering up all its resources as it prepares to go to sleep for the winter. Leaves are falling, falling, falling to become a colorful but momentary blanket for Mother Earth. Squirrels are fat, geese an overhead constant and the fickle warm-weather birds have fled for the south. I have put away the summer things, and possibly located where I sat the snow shovel last March. Gas is stabilized in now-still lawnmowers, motorcycles and boat motors. This world, our world, is quieting for the season.

High school football season is over for me. No playoff games this year, whistles will be put away earlier than I am used to. No one is even commenting on my blog entries despite the fact I know they are spending more time indoors glued to the Internet, video games and television.

My circadian rhythm is floundering, melatonin levels are spiking, serotonin levels are impaired.

It would take a chemist to figure me out. Lithium would help.

I am listening for what is being said by the cool wind. By the rains that sound more like a flowing brook or stream. By the air, that can be so cool and a sun so very warm. By the shadows, thrown by that sun, so long and eerily dancing across the ground.

It is calling for something, like my name or my soul or my being. What it is calling for I do not understand so I must continue to listen closely. I will let the chill speak to me of the grave, of the winter, of the frosty, cold eternity. It will help to remind me of the warmth of living, of life, of love.

I will heed the warnings of the white nothingness that surrounds me in the winter. I will find a way to remain warm and alive in my spirit. I will await the return of the green grasses, the renewal of natures promise. I will not surrender to despair.

This must be the onset of seasonal affective disorder (SAD).