Belonging

I think the themes of belonging and parentage and love are obviously universal. -- Christopher Eccleston

What does it mean to belong? What belongs to me and what belongs to you and what belongs to someone else?

I remember many moments that gave me the meaning that I belonged to something, something that is bigger than the world that surrounds our body and being. We exist in this large web of living creatures, the respirations of plant life and inanimate planetary structure that gravitates us to the surface of the Earth. We surely belong to the so-called circle of life, now more as caretakers of the planet then how our ancestors interacted with it. Primitive man and his early cultures engaged at a more primal level. We are more aware now, but we seem to be doing a poorer job as caretakers than we are surely capable of, spending far too much time devouring things. As our civilizations expanded and grew it appeared the sole mission was one of create no matter what and leave the mess behind. Our bubble of civilization is expanding and pushing and is getting close to bursting its poisons over everything.

But if effort is put forth to belong once again as a functional part of existence, we may regain the perspective that most of us have lost along this evolutionary pathway. We can start with recognizing belonging in minute ways and start our transformation there. Realize that we can belong to many things and many people and to nothing if we choose. But we will be unable to stop others from feeling that we belong to them. And I do not mean in a possessive form of belonging. I myself belong as a parent to my children, a husband to my wife and a son to his parents. These positions of belonging are a commitment to others that I take very seriously. They are what I consider longstanding, permanent attachments. Serious belonging.

Another favorite type of belonging is the recognition of moments of belonging that you don’t initiate. My thought wander to a time, when off-guard, my wife came up to me for no reason and put her arms around my neck and kissed me. It was a moment that was unexpected by me and I was first puzzled by how I felt. I gradually came to recognize this moment and why it felt strange because it really belonged to her. It was significant to me, and welcome, but it also made me relinquish any thoughts that somehow I could share what she felt. I felt great and I felt love but the act of that moment belonged to her.

I hope we can all seek out those moments in time where we belong and that belonging will make a true difference.