How often have we judged people by their outward appearances? By their manners or lack of? Their haircut or grooming habits? The way they speak: with an accent or a lisp or with a strange sounding voice?Admit it, as human beings we all do it.
I would also put forth this reason why it seems to me more and more that people are judging others by standards that are arbitrarily invented to keep themselves comfortable. We have lost a bit of the extended families that we once were a part of. Yes, we are more lonely. I look around and I see this unconscious longing to overcome the loneliness that has crept slowly into peoples lives. A loneliness that in reality they are creating for themselves. They express this to others on Facebook. They practically cry it out for everyone to see. But that medium does not allow for a cure of the condition. It may actually enhance the feelings of loneliness. Do they think that "Look at all the people I am connected to, and I am still all alone?" That is what I hear and see. Facebook makes me sad. I feel the empty conditions--their longing to be loved--of some of the people I care for.
I will share an example of my own experience. I have officiated high school football for more than twenty years, and for most of that time, I encountered the same coaches and worked with a steady group of fellow officials. They would come and go due to life changes but there was always a core group. That all changed 2 years ago and the whole group imploded. It happens to work groups just like it happens in families. A painful leap that is growth but leaves a feeling of emptiness.
I still love to officiate but now I have to embrace a new group. A group that I did not understand and actually thought I may not get along with. I had some preconceived notions of some of these characters from previous encounters at meetings, work at scrimmages as well as fellow officials opinions of them. In otherwords, my inside was telling my outside it was not possible to get along and have fun like I did in the past. So I plowed ahead. Fearful. Worried. Cautious. Longing for what I had lost when my little officiating "family" was no more.
But after working a few games with this new bunch of guys, I believe now that I was wrong. And I would bet that the other people that were going to work with me for the first time were probably experiencing the same thing. I hope they will feel better now about it like I do. Now I want to learn from them and become a cohesive unit. I want to continue to understand others.
And lastly, a simple recognition of the conditions leading to hopelessness--to loneliness--probably was personally cured by one of the nicest texts I ever got, a simple "Miss you, Papa."
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3 comments:
Love this post! You said it all so nice and it is so true. We all want to be accepted and loved and even "missed" in someone's life. It has always been hard for me to accept change, I'm feeling it now since Dan got married. Now all my children are grown--have been for many years--and independent, but I like to be missed in their lives too. Being lonely is a terrible feeling, it causes so much unhappiness, we all have to seek our happiness I guess, it is hard for some more than others, due to lack of trust or not finding the right outlet. We all must keep in contact with our loved ones, as nothing is forever and you can never go back! You have learned the lesson well, Mitch! Proud of you.
Great post its so true we all have these feelings.Keep up the great writing I love to read them.
Reading comments helps me also with loneliness. It lets me know there are people out in cyberspace reading what I think about and to try to adequately put down in words.
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