“It’s surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time.”—Barbara Kingsolver
Have you ever taken the time to try and observe the raw pictures of your memory? Take a memory--any memory--and grab you brains camera and take a quick, static shot of it. Now take a minute and concentrate on what you see once you have stopped the flowing aspect of memory.
It is difficult.
When I try to stop the movement of thought it vanishes like smoke dissipating in the air. When I try to make it freeze, it blows away. Or flows away like a river.
It is like lifting the needle off the record on a turntable. The sound of the music just vanishes. Return the needle…joy. At least for those who still remember or own a turntable and vinyl record albums.
So I have tried to stop focusing on the specifics of memory and more on the emotional qualities of them. How did I feel? What was the real point of saving that particular event? And I must admit that I notice things about my past that were unnoticed as Ms. Kingsolver points out.
This allows me to discard or devalue some things and to embrace and be joyful of other things. Now when some memory is triggered in me, I am more able to justify the discomfort or happiness that accompanies them.
Perhaps this will lead me to laugh and cry more truly with my many ghosts.
It is difficult.
When I try to stop the movement of thought it vanishes like smoke dissipating in the air. When I try to make it freeze, it blows away. Or flows away like a river.
It is like lifting the needle off the record on a turntable. The sound of the music just vanishes. Return the needle…joy. At least for those who still remember or own a turntable and vinyl record albums.
So I have tried to stop focusing on the specifics of memory and more on the emotional qualities of them. How did I feel? What was the real point of saving that particular event? And I must admit that I notice things about my past that were unnoticed as Ms. Kingsolver points out.
This allows me to discard or devalue some things and to embrace and be joyful of other things. Now when some memory is triggered in me, I am more able to justify the discomfort or happiness that accompanies them.
Perhaps this will lead me to laugh and cry more truly with my many ghosts.
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